short funny quotes

short funny quotes
"We have found that it's much easier to restrain our wrath when the other fellow is bigger than we are."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.


"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Short and funny quotes by, Rita Rudner.


"Man was given a sense of humor to compensate for nature's law of gravity."
Short and funny quotes by, Anonymous.

short funny quotes
"The latest new dance craze is called, "The Politician." It's two steps forward, one step backward, and then a sidestep."
Short and funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
Short and funny quote by, Harry S. Truman.


"He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."
Short and funny quote by, Chuck Tanner.


"Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."
Short and funny quotes by, Anonymous.


"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.

short funny quotes
"We have found that it's much easier to restrain our wrath when the other fellow is bigger than we are."
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.

short funny quotes
    We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
 ~humorous quotes about Celebrity by Chris Rock

   Football's not a matter of life and death ... it's more important than that
 ~funny sayings about short by Bill Shankly

   I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian
 ~Hilarious short funny sayings

   Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down
 ~humorous quotes about Death quotes by Terry Pratchett

   Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
 ~funny sayings about short by Albert Einstein
short funny quotes
   USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
 ~Hilarious short funny sayings

   Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
 ~humorous quotes about Children by Bill Cosby

   I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
 ~funny sayings about short by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
 ~Hilarious short funny sayings

   Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
 ~humorous quotes about Money Jokes by Malcolm Forbes

   When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.
 ~funny sayings about short by Noelie Altito
short funny quotes
    My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
 ~Hilarious short funny sayings

   I have a weight problem (I can't wait to start eating!!!)
 ~humorous quotes about Funny Dieting Quotes by Funny Guy

   The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
 ~funny sayings about short by Albert Einstein

   Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control.
 ~humorous sayings about short by

   Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
 ~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

   So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
 ~humorous sayings about short by

   Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
 ~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

   Hating hate does not mean you love love.
 ~humorous sayings about short by me
short funny quotes
   Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
 ~funny quotes about Cool Quotes by

   I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
 ~humorous sayings about short by

   Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
 ~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

   Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!
 ~humorous sayings about short by short funny quotes

short funny quotes  "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Short funny quotes by, Bob Hope


"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
Short funny quotes by, Ronald Reagan


"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein


"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Short funny quotes by, Dean Martin


"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
Short funny quotes by, Tommy Lasorda


"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor


"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
Short funny quotes by, Jim Wohford


"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.
Short funny quotes by, Yogi Berra


"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson Short funny quotes by, Yogi Berra


"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Short funny quotes by, Bill Cosby


"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein